In His Ingredient Label, Tardy shows readers how men are like foods to which one can become addicted if you don’t control yourself. The book helps readers to recognize how one's own decision-making can be the first step to a healthier relationship and demonstrates how to recognize the true character of a man by investigating what he is made of. This is the first volume in the Forever Tardy, but Never Late Collection.
Dorothy Lafrinere of WomensSelfEsteem.com highly recommends Tardy’s work. “His Ingredient Label is an excellent knowledge base and resource for all women, single or otherwise, in the fact that we never graduate from the school of life including relationships,” says Lafrinere “ It has been proven over time that we learn more effectively by example...let this book be your example to learn from. Awareness, preparation and knowledge have always been the keys to any successful relationship.”
I read the title and chuckled just a bit…how often have we, as women, wished we knew what men were made of? And here you have it, your opinion about the ingredients to help us gain a new perspective on dating and relationships.
Once we hit the dating age, we set ourselves up to experience all sorts of downfalls. Some of us fall down so hard that we struggle to get back up. Some of us even afraid to confront or face the hurt we’ve experienced, thereby locking us in zone that keeps us from wanting to find real love.
I know I have definitely fallen short in the compatibility department and have lost a love or two…or three LOL. And as much as I’ve lost, I learned and grew with each failed attempt. So I’m always going to be hopeful for the “real deal”…it’s out there somewhere.
And while I wait, I’m more than honored to have this opportunity to chat with Jennifer Tardy, author of the newly released “His Ingredient Label – A Woman’s Guide to Recognizing a Junk Food Man”
About Jennifer TardyJ. M. Tardy earned a bachelor’s and master’s degree from Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, Virginia. She has trained thousands on understanding the behaviors of others and how it can improve relationships, personally and professionally. She lives with her fiance, Isaac, and their dogs Bishop and Bella, in Charlotte, NC. Visit her online at www.JenniferTardy.com.
For booking and interview requests, contact Jameka Whitten (JSW Media Group) at 704.826.5012 or Jameka@jswmediagroup.com.
OP: Jennifer, welcome to Another Writer’s Block …this is where it all gets exposed. But first, please tell my readers a little about yourself? Who is Jennifer Tardy?
JT: Beyond my work, I am an uncomplicated, evolving, and introspective woman. By title, I’m an Author, Healthy Relationship Activist, and Post Relationship Adjustment Coach. With everything I do personally and professionally, I’m promoting the benefits of healthy relationships on the mind, body, and soul while simultaneously working to help mend broken hearts.
OP: Writing for you, what is it? Where do you take yourself, to bring forth the product that you do?
JT: There are a lot of flashbacks in my writing. While composing my first book, I spent time trying to remember what it felt like when I would go from one unhealthy relationship to the next. What did it feel like when I saw so many people around me happy and I was lonely? In retrospect, I’m thankful for those experiences (and present flashbacks) because I wouldn’t be a writer without them. I wouldn’t care for writing had I not experienced each situation. Writing for me is a healing therapy. It’s such a significant part of my life right now—next largest being speaking.
OP: “His Ingredient Label – A Woman’s Guide to Recognizing a Junk Food Man”, you know I had to ask…how did you come up with the title?
JT: I love this question! I always go on and off of healthy eating kicks, like the ones I describe in my book. It had gotten to the point where I was so tired of everyone telling me what I should and shouldn’t eat, that I started to do my own research on WHY foods were good and bad for me. I wanted to know why sodium should be eaten in smaller portions than potassium and why beets are better to eat than lettuce. I really wanted to know for myself! So the more I started to learn about the ingredients in foods (during my cleansing period), I would joke about how great life would be if men would also wear ingredient labels. That way we (women) would know WHY we should or should not invest in them. Eventually this joke turned into a book concept. Funny story, but the first working title was His Ingredient Label: A Woman’s Guide to Understanding What She’s Putting in Her Body. It was a bit crass, so I changed it.
OP: What propelled you to “reach out” to sisters, and brothers to take a deeper look at their relationships?
JT: Life Lessons for my little Black Girls” by Natasha Munson, really confirmed my direction in writing and was my real motivation for reaching out. There was a time when I had almost decided not to move forward with my first book. I almost decided to leave the completed manuscript sitting in my office closet unpublished. I then picked up Munson’s book (as I had hundreds of times before when I needed some plain advice) and there my answer was,
“People need and want help and sometimes the only way they’ll get it is if you jump in. Why acquire knowledge if you’re not going to share it? Please God, get out there and help somebody learn. Teach somebody what you know. Don’t sit up in the house saying the community is going downhill when you could be helping someone, even one person, get their life on track. It’s just not excusable and should be totally unacceptable to you.”
Wow. Even reading this now, helps me to remember why I am pushing forward with each title. It’s because someone needed to hear it. What’s crazy is that by the time I finished the book, I finally realized that I was really speaking to myself—my teenage self, that is. That’s the therapeutic part.
OP: In Chapter 5 – Controlling Those Cravings, you talked about “Janelle”. You questioned, “Why are women so emotional?” From you (your thoughts) to my readers, why do you think women are emotional?
JT: Since birth, we’ve had the perfect storm of events in our lives. We grew up watching our mothers and aunts react emotionally in relationships—they were always the softer side of everything. We’ve watched television shows that portray the female character as a ball of emotion. Society has created the ideal, overly emotional woman and the emotionally dormant man and if we are ever to walk outside of those roles, we are criticized as trying to be something that we are not. Don’t forget that we are also coated by our own hormones: natural hormones, hormones in the products we use, hormones in the food we eat, pills we ingest that can potentially cause our edginess at times. Whether learned, or innate, our emotions have become a natural part of us. All I’m saying in His Ingredient Label is that we have to be very aware of them and learn how to keep them under control when necessary.
OP: Let’s talk about the “cravings” and how we stay devoted to them, rather than be “rational” in the way we love. Can you give my readers a little insight on your concept about our “cravings”?
JT: I think the best way to explain is to tell you my story. I used to love men with status and those who were accomplished. Both went hand in hand for me. It didn’t matter what type of status. If he had a PhD, was at a high level in a company, was in a fraternity, was on a team, and was in the 6-figure leagues, had a perfect credit score, etc., it didn’t matter. They had accomplishments. Having someone like that was symbolic to eating a Snickers bar whenever I wanted. I was addicted to both. This was until I realized that none of those things (the degrees, money, job title, or 800 FICO score) could guarantee that he wanted to be faithful, long-term, honest, and/or in a relationship with me. Let me repeat, none of those accomplishments could guarantee those things. Just like a Snickers bar was only a quick fix to a natural craving, so were my 3-month relationships. So I finally made the connection. I had to learn to control my cravings if I wanted a healthy relationship. I had to start paying attention to the ingredients in my foods as I did with the character of the men I chose to give my time to.
OP: I laughed quietly a bit at the concept of the Quadrant Four Girlfriend: the one who will slip on in and give you many more nights of tears. I’ve had MANY nights of being the shoulder to crying girlfriends, and them to me. Can the role of a ‘girlfriend’ create more damage than help a friend’s relationship?
JT: Whew. I’m pretty passionate about this question. I love having girlfriends. They are truly God’s gift in life. But without healthy boundaries sometimes the roles of our girlfriend’s can actually damage more than it can help. Maybe I should clarify, right?
Two points:
One, like dating, you should also get to know your girlfriends before giving away the benefits (i.e. intimate secrets about yourself and info about your relationship). Unfortunately, some women will pull you right out of your relationship if you give the chance to so they won’t have to be the only single girlfriend. Others may put ideas in your mind that all men will cheat, simply because it’s their philosophy. And on the other end of the spectrum, some girlfriends have you best interest in mind and only want to see you happy. You can never know your girlfriend’s motives if you don’t know your girlfriend.
Two, pay attention to where your girlfriend’s advice is coming from. Is it coming from a place of love or fear? Even if it is coming from love, does she truly know your entire situation? No. Only you and your partner know everything about your circumstances. Make sure that you are making a decision because you know that it is the right thing to do and not because your girlfriend recommended it to you. Your girlfriends love you. They don’t love your man, at least not yet. They don’t even know your man. They have no ties to him. They simply want to protect you. And even in the midst of the most love, your girlfriends may go about it the wrong way. Even with the purest intention, she still may not give you the best advice for your situation.
Ultimately, girlfriends are the greatest, but they too are only human. Be certain that the women in your circle are the best ones for the job. Healthy boundaries are always a great start.
OP: I adored how you correlate relationship woes, to the things in life that aren’t good for us…certain foods, cigarettes…etc. “His Ingredient Label – A Woman’s Guide to Recognizing a Junk Food Man” is a clever compilation of concepts to guide couples.. budding and long term. In this realization, I dare ask. Is your relationship a testament to these pages?
JT: Thank you for the compliment. To answer your question—absolutely! My fiancé hails from Quadrant Three: the Hot Pepper. I consistently aim to live all that I speak about. How he treats me (and our relationship) has more to do with who he is as a person (i.e. his character) than has to do with me. That’s the secret to having a healthy relationship—simply find a partner who is also seeking one.
OP: Where can my readers get a copy of your book?
JT: They can visit my website: www.JenniferTardy.com. There they can find more information on the “special offer” I have going on for the next 99 autographed books that I’m selling. Outside of my website, readers can go to any online bookstore (such as www.Amazon.com) to purchase a copy of my book.
OP: Can my readers expect anything more from you?
JT: They certainly can. I have a new book to add to my Forever Tardy, but Never Late collection. It’s called, Good Job, Great Guy: Finding & Attracting the Man of Your Dreams—the Boss’ Way. This book is everything you need to know about knowing where to find and how to attract the ultimate partner in your life. Please visit my website for more details.
Outside of writing my next book, I’m into anything (and everything) that promotes healthy relationships. Currently, my primary goal is in the evolution of my website—creating more visibility, traffic, repeat visits, etc. I’d like to create a sort of resource bank for those in need of information concerning relationships and dating. I’m also a life coach—more specifically, a Post Relationship Adjustment Coach. In other words, I coach highly motivated women on the “what’s next” once a relationship has ended. I’m also partnering with two phenomenal women in order to create a society of enlightened women. We are creating a movement of female masterminds. More to come on this later. In my free time (I barely have any…) I’m a freelance/contributing writer to Charlotte Style Magazine and (Charlotte) Examiner.com. Article writing is a recent love of mine.
So, as you can see, I’m just getting my momentum. I’m excited about all of the possibilities!
Jennifer, again, thanks for taking the time to have this interview with me. I’m wishing you much success with “His Ingredient Label – A Woman’s Guide to Recognizing a Junk Food Man”. Many of us out there could use this, tell-it-like-it-is guide.
