Lost in Translation

According to the Urban Dictionary: Lost in translation is defined as:

	(N.) To become a different message than the original through the changes of another language during translation.

With the track record of rejections that I have going for myself, I'm slowly and surely becoming more inclined to believe that what I conjure up in my head, gets lost in translation when putting it out into the universe.

But as funny as the image above may seem to be, it goes perfectly well with this blog. I have to beware of my head. Beware in the sense that, the goals that I set out to accomplish must be a bit more earthly. No! That's not it, because dreaming is infinite. What I must do is beware of the goals I dream of. When I dream them, I need to be certain that all my i's are dotted and all of my t's are crossed.

Back in February, when I received the notice that my application to law school was complete, I spent the following months on edge. I had already sought out living spaces, mapped out my move and lined up possible job placements for the final decision. Yes, your girl was on her way to moving on up and out. But recently, I received the decision to my application to law school. My application was denied. And the decision received, sent me into a mini mood of disappointment. Depression no, just disappointment.

While I had my heart set on a letter of admission, I had a back up plan in the event I was denied. At first I was told that having a back up plan was me not having faith in my self, and it unnerved me. But this is the real world. Having a back up plan meant not putting all my eggs into one basket (which in a way I did by applying to ONE school)...and in this instance, that was me having UBER faith in myself LOL...a bit cocky, but hey! I went for it. And now my back up plan is in the forefront and I'm racing to the finish line.

Some of you may be wondering why I'm even sharing this with you ... I'm a see through soul, I share what I can, once I believe it can help someone (or others) know they're not alone in a situation. I'm not ashamed to say that I was denied. But I do want to share what I went through when I got the notice. Hey! I AM human after all.

In previous blogs (feel free to scroll through past entries), I have talked about you going after dreams, achieving the things you set your heart on. Though I wasn't accepted, and though it sent me into a slight stupor, I spent 3 days trying to figure out where I went wrong. Beat up on myself a bit for not being a better candidate, but I simmered. I embraced my silence (the fourth of the 10 Secrets to Success and Inner Peace according to Dr. Wayne Dyer) and I prayed it into understanding. I had several friends who also offered consoling advice that didn't seem to help at the time, but eventually sunk in.

I was hurt. Almost hurt like the time "the him" had first left. It stung. I lost the wind in my lungs. No serioulsy! I gasped myself into disbelief. Why was I shocked by the response, when I KNEW that my LSAT score was less than the asking "price". When I KNEW, that I should have put my stubborn behind to retake the exam. But the state of disbelief had something to do with the fact that I JUST knew that I was being accepted. I wanted this since high school, but life happened to me more times than often. It was a dream I kept putting on the back burner due to fear, lack of courage within myself, and well...I had a son to raise. Biggest excuse I toted around for years. When I got home that evening. I dropped to my knees and I prayed. Friends couldn't understand why I was so upset with myself, or angry. I couldn't explain it to them. Couldn't explain to them how much of my life I placed on this and just lost. A gambler may understand this moment I experienced.

But see, its OK to be or get disappointed, but its NOT OK to let it linger to the point that you begin to harbor frustration and hurt. And I was getting to that point very fast. I was forgetting that there was a plan B, and I plan to put it into effect.

Though I felt that I did not put my best foot forward with my pursuit of attending law school, I humbly accept the decision and put my second best foot forward to make sure that I apply to grad school and continue on with my education.

So no more sulking, no more kicking of the self in the ass and no more crying over spilled milk. Applying to law school was one of the biggest journey's I stepped into, and I'm glad that I did.

All I know is that...the buck doesn't stop here... We all fall down...but we MUST get up...get back up again.

If you have recently experienced a set back/road block on your journey to success...get back up and keep pressing on. If YOU don't do it, no one else will do it for you.