The Law of Attraction - can you envision the things you want in life?

As the New Year, 2010, approaches us, we're all scrambling to the last hour, to list the things we aim to accomplish. A New Year, means new beginnings and new goals. Humans/people/individuals/ most times are naturally goal seeking. Meaning there is something of worth in which we strive to achieve. Our tendency is to go to the lengths to achieve that goal...some positively and unfortunately some negatively. We do live in a world of good and bad. In the world of psychology, such a person will be considered to be a self-actualizing person. And in "The Farther Reaches of Human Nature", Abraham H. Maslow describes a self-actualizing person as someone

..."without a single exception, involved in a cause outside their own skin, in something outside of themselves. They are devoted, working at something, something which is very precious to them ... They are working at something which fate has called them to some how and which they work at an which they love" ...

As passionate as we are about our desire for that want, we tend to put ourselves in positions and places that will help us get there. One might consider it to be the law of attraction. For that want, we tend to attract people and things that help suffice that want or a need. The law of attraction is defined as thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) that affects things outside the head, not just through motivation, but by other means. If you want something and want something really bad, its believed that if you believe in it hard enough, you will achieve it...even if its something you don't want. Trust me when I say I can testify to the latter...I can. I'll explain it one day in another blog. For now we focus on the goals we're setting out to achieve in 2010.

I have many goals I would love to accomplish. I'm constantly putting pen to paper...as you can see in my previous blogs, aiming for something I set my mind on. And I always surround myself amongst others who do the same. And recently, I've encountered some really interesting folks on twitter and my time line (place where all my tweets are compiled) is comprised of people who feed my day with entertaining tweets. Some of us have gotten accustomed to each other and realize we're like minded in some ways...we strive for a brighter future. One of my tweeps (get on board and you'd understand the lingo) recently banned a group of us together to create the 'vision board crew'. (click the hyperlink to view her blog: This Side of the Wall)




Vision board you say? I'll explain. I've heard of the phrase before but never truly looked into it and didn't quite know what it entailed. A vision board is a collage of images and statements of phrases that are collected. It is created to help us see/visualize the goals we have defined for ourselves. It is said to help activate the law of attraction. If you see it, you can believe it. I guess that's what it boils down too. So our group decided to chart our goals, and we'd follow it together to help each other achieve them throughout the year.

Some of my goals are to hopefully get an acceptance letter to law school, move out of state and start a new life, in a new home, with a new job, that supports me comfortably as a single mother. I also aim to have my novel completed (it has already finished phase 1 of editing). I'd like to venture into a relationship, one that is spiritually and emotionally uplifting ( I still have some love left in me). I'd like to continue motivational speaking to teens, do more volunteer work...I can go on, but I can sense you yawing by now.

To me, no one is ever fully actualized as we are forever evolving and learning. We'd always keep on wanting. And our lives are ours to live. And this life waits for no man. According to Abraham H. Maslow, "life moves far more rapidly now than it ever did before". We, the self-actualizing individual, are a creative people. We set goals, figure out what we love about each goal, plan how we'd go about these goals and we aim to achieve them. My vision board will receive a new image almost every day. I'll try to post pics as the days go along.

The world is big enough for all of us to share our dreams and it is a vast field of opportunities. We will forever seek to achieve something more than what we've already accomplished. The sky's the limit...our life is meant to be lived. Live it to the fullest.

Get on board, set your goals, create your vision board and stop on by to tell me how its coming along...I'll be here all year long.

Wind down fun at the end of the year

This is a video of my son and my niece. She received a flip video for Christmas and HAD to try it out today. She's somewhat of a character. Wants to be on TV so bad...our own little actress in the making. This is her debut. She dragged my son into it. Everything HAD to be perfect for her lol. Its so funny, I had to share. My family is somewhat of a circus act at times. Gotta love them. And yes, yes! She's in my mom's wig (one of her MANY wigs) and she's wearing MY read shirt. I had to knot it at the back and clip it with a binder clip LOL. She wanted my red guess pumps...but I DON'T play with my pumps. No sah! I don't.

Enjoyyyyyy!!!!!

Avatar ... The Movie

Back in early 2000 through 2003 or so, I was a major hot head for being on/in Caribbean chat rooms and forums. Its where I met most of my friends to this day. Even the man who I fell in love with and to this day, who remains somewhat in my life (text, email, short phone call), despite it all.

This blog isn't about him, but he slipped in somehow lol.

Getting back to my point about an avatar, back in the days,on those websites we used avatars. It was a picture we'd select to represent ourselves, as opposed to using pictures of our real images. The internet was viewed as this trap for stolen identities, so we sort of carried out precautionary measures to secure our safety. We'd create names, use avatars and our entire internet alter-ego would be born. I never really thought much of having an avatar. Never put anything to it other than...it was cute lol

For years now my active role on those websites have been dormant. Actually I don't visit them anymore. However, very recently I came across the need for an avatar again and it brought back memories. My fear of the internet identity theft issue has subsided. And this time my avatar is an exact image of myself. This way my readers can get a visual of who I am and what I look like. Hello world...it's me!!

I've heard about the cartoon Avatar...never paid attention to it, but my son loves watching it. Then the movie Avatar (click link to view trailer) pops up. I hesitated on it for a bit. I'm not much of a movie goer. But after hearing some friends rave about it, I had to go see it. I took my nieces to the movies on Christmas Day and I tell you... we enjoyed it. We all wanted to use the bathroom and refuse to leave the theater, for fear of missing any good parts. The ENTIRE movie had nothing BUT good parts. GREAT PARTS actually...see for yourself below this blog.

My nieces (ages 15 and age 9) sat in our seats waiting for the next line, the next movement, the next action part of the film. They enjoyed it for the entertainment, but I enjoyed it for what I gathered the message of the movie to be.

To me it was a compilation of our past history, happening again in the future. I could be wrong, but damn it the story line is AMAZING. Control, greed, being indifferent, power, heart, love, family, bonds, trust, dedication, ancestry, tradition...LIFE.


7 years in the making and this movie was made to perfection. It made me think a lot about our world today: how lands and people are invaded; how the military is such a dominant figure in society, how being different can create such distance and unknowing; how the want for something that's not your won creates tension and wars. Unnecessary wars. But still there's an underlying message of love, intimacy and bonding. Bonding with others who are not like us. Through out the movie "I see you" was repeated. It raised my pores when I thought of it some more. It's going to be my new way to say I love you. Because when you love someone, you see them for who and how they are. No boundaries, no guidelines, just love. I SEE YOU.

There were even, to me, some subliminal messages that pertained to our history's past. Though this was a fictitious movie, I tend to read into things and try to connect it with something.The gassing of the aboriginal people of Pandora...reminded me of the holocaust. The rallying of the 2000 clan people, reminded me of the 12000 tribes mentioned in the bible, then there was the line: "remember Venezuela? That was a hell of a lot of bush"...don't ask me why but I thought of something at that moment. A thought I won't really blog lol.

What even got me was how, prayer is the one thing that is removed from just about everything USofA, yet when in time of demise, prayer is the one thing that's the last resort. Hmmmm

But LOVE... love no matter what, and in no matter the situation, is the most powerful thing of all. It conquers all. It makes everything clearer ... but its the one thing that we still can't master.

I don't know if this movie gave an insight into things to come (trust me this is just how I think), but I do know for a fact that there isn't anything about this movie to dislike. NOTHING. Seeing it in 3D makes it all the better. It's so good I'm off to go see it again today with my brother and sister and I must say, I look forward to every bit of it again.

If you haven't seen it...I recommend that you do.

Avatar

Christmas...come and gone

Ever since I left Trinidad, Christmas has never really been the same. The spirit of working takes over the spirit of celebrating what I knew Christmas to be. I took my son a few years ago and he enjoyed it to the fullest. A bit to young at the time, he doesn't remember it. I planned on taking him this year, but I had no more vacation time from work and couldn't plan the trip as I had hoped. What a loss. I wanted this for him. To be carefree and childlike again.



I vividly remember what it was like as a child. For days we'd be smelling different cakes baking throughout the neighborhood, houses were gutted for fresh coatings of paints, new furniture would replace the old ones, children would be stealing pieces of whatever just came out of the oven, music, mainly parang would be playing (click the hyperlink to understand what parang is). We'd go to service/mass, come home have our family breakfast, prepare lunch, then go from house to house visiting family, friends and neighbors, just spreading joy, spending time with one another, laughing, loving and being happy, together.

I miss those days. It felt like Christmas. And in saying that, I'm sure you want me to explain what Christmas is SUPPOSED to feel like. Well for me, and for many other religious folk,has everything to do with Jesus. Its taught throughout history as his birth. We're celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Given that we've succumb to that truth of it (many have their own opinion about it), we are to celebrate him. Knowing that his being is comprised of love, compassion, care, concern, joy, unselfishness, Christmas is supposed to be just that. That feeling of happiness, joy, love...mostly love. Its the most powerful emotion we have, but the one we're yet to master.

With all of the above being said, from the picture imagined from my childhood experiences, you get the feel of what Christmas is about.

Getting gifts were the added prize. But lately getting gifts is what its all about. The rush to make sure the best product is bought, the rush to make sure it is what the receiver wanted.

After leaving Trinidad, I grew up in a single parent home. Experiencing that made me realize that the spirit of Christmas is the same as the spirit of Thanksgiving, being thankful for many things. In a single parent household the rush of making sure the rent is paid and that there is a house, that there is food in the house, and that the house contains amenities that can make it a home are what's important. For many its the reality of their Christmas.

My mom worked hard to raise myself and my two siblings. But we had our Christmas. I don't know how she did it but it got done. But as we got older we all got sucked into the corporate world and Christmas slowly but surely dissipated. We no longer had the spirit. We no longer had the urge to scramble for the best of the best. And by the time we had our own kids, we found it hard to get that spirit back...now they fall short of what we experienced as a child.

I feel guilty that I'm robbing my son of that joy. This year we had no Christmas tree, no parang played. I worked late almost every night leading up to Christmas. Taking him to buy gifts for his friends, proved a challenge for me and I had to pray he understood why I couldn't take him...but I caved in and took him eventually.

I don't want to take this from him. I don't want him to not have an understanding of this great feeling, but I'm afraid I may be too late. At age 12, how can I really give him that spirit?

Now the day has come and gone, he got his gifts, opened them up and all in glee...but now he knows this day to be a day of receiving gifts, rather than feeling it in his heart.

I asked him if he understood what Christmas is about and he said yes, but I'm not sure if he truly does. What have I done?

My vow for next year, is to take him home to Trinidad, to see what goes on, to feel that magical thing I felt as a child. Its not too late.

I fall short of passing on my family traditions to my son, the spirits of my ancestors are probably disowning me at this moment. I'm going to try my best to incorporate the two...my tradition with new ones, so he can have something to hand down to his own children some day.

The spirit of Christmas, is a chain effect of love ... once a link is missing, it can't be passed on the way it was meant to be. I'm going to fix that missing link and restore what I know the feel of Christmas is to be.

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When wrapping paper attacks

Aside from not being able to make a decent braid in my hair, or an adoration of cooking, I have another "not so girly girl" defect... I CAN'T GIFT WRAP A GIFT TO SAVE MY LIFE. Yes, yes, I confess. I cannot gift wrap a box ... big or small ... to give it some shape or form of tasteful display.

Its the holidays and no matter what I think or lack, gift wrapping is a part of it all. It helps give that added ummpphh to the feel of Christmas. Jesus was all neatly wrapped in his manger, right?

But I can't get it straight. The paper is either cut to short/small, by the time I fold it tears. One end has to much paper to fold. Or I used the wrong type of tape to seal it shut.



Its a curse I tell you!! I seem to have missed out on a lot of God's tutorials when he molded me. For every holiday or occasion that a gift must be produced, I thank the masterminds who created gift cards & gift bags and pretty colored tissue paper and wrapping booths at the malls... they are my life saving alternates.

From the wrapping paper to the tape. To making sure the edges are neatly creased or cut to the perfect size, I crash and burn. I'm damn near sure it contains some type of mathematical configuration as to why I don't ever get it right. I HATE MATH lol. so I leave it be. I call on my sister and she gets the job done. For the kids love unwrapping gifts and a gift bag hardly allows their excitement to have any freedom.


Scotch Tape now has these really cute wrapping tape. Some are so clear it seems almost invisible on the paper. And they now have dispensers that are supposed to make it easier for when you have to hold the paper and pull the tape at the same time, to place it where you want it. I'd buy it JUST to have it...its that cute. But still I don't have the man power to pull off such a daring act LOL.



But for all you power wrappers and fancy designers with bows and strings and things, I commend you. You are envied and you are my heroes :) ... holidays and birthdays wouldn't be the same without you.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL ... make the best of it. Wishing you lots of joy, love and laughter with your families...for they are the elements of happiness and the essence of the season

Love Onika

Blasian Baby Bloggin...what do you know about being Blasian?

Have you ever heard of the term Blasian? I have to ask, because I hadn't. Until I met Onica aka Euphoria-Luv that is. Now mind you, I have my own Blasian babies in my family...my cousin's married to a Japanese girl and while I totally adore Miko and Mao, I just never knew they would have been termed "blasian babies"...cute isn't it?

When I met Onica...a fellow mom like I am... I got to know her passion through her blogs. Her baby Daniel is. A cute faced bundle of joy. Her blasian baby boy.

So in keeping with the mission of my blogs... to uplift and inspire other moms (single and married), I present to you my feature mommy of the month. Onica ... and Daniel. Hope you enjoy the interview.



1. How did you feel when you got the news that you were having a baby?

I was both excited and nervous. My son's father and I were trying to conceive for a lil' over 6 months and started to worry it might not happen for us. So when after a week of having morning sickness and wondering, I saw the two pink lines and life changed for me.

2. What, thus far, is your most memorable moment being Daniel’s mom?

The labor and delivery hands down takes the cake. Not for the pain and drama at the hospital but for that special moment when my son came out and I announced to the world he's here. As a woman, you go through such a mystical moment, then realize you've become more than yourself and could see the glory of the universe through your connection to this new life.

3. What’s your daily routine like with a one year old?

Early morning and early nights. LOL. We wake up about 5/6am, do the morning routine of washing our face, getting breakfast and either off to daycare or off to a day's activity. By later afternoon / early evening we're back home for dinner, bath, story or DVD time and then snuggle to sleep.

4. When I met you, I came across the term Blasian…understood it and thought it to be so culturally unique…can you explain to my readers what Blasian is?

The term "Blasian" is used to describe either an Asian and black couple or a child with Asian and black heritage. Oddly enough besides Blasian other terms are used such as blacknese, blackpino, etc... You can read more about the term when used to describe a group here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afro-Asian

5. I stop by your blog page every now and again. As as a mother I seek tips far and wide. I love the content of your page, what (other than Daniel) encourages you to keep it going?

There is only Daniel. LOL. Kidding. I want to share and encourage other black women who date inter-racially. When I get an email from someone thanking me for sharing, for letting them know they are not alone and that it's OK to want to date interracial. It strengthens me to keep living online.

6. You’re of Caribbean descent and African descent. Daniel, now is of both Caribbean and Asian descent and you’re raising him in an American culture. Do you find it challenging to raise such a culturally diverse baby?

Correction, Daniel is of Black and Asian decent, specifically Korean. LOL. In general I don't find a problem with sharing dual cultures with him. America is a culturally rich environment if you know where to look. I'm surrounded by diverse people who share their culture easily. The problem I find is with people who don't see the world as diverse. Some people like to point out that, because your skin tone is one way then you should only act and do things limited to that group. That's when things get challenging. I don't accept that way of thinking or people trying to force it on me and my family.

7. Do you find yourself learning about the Asian culture as well? If so, what’s it like for you?

In general I knew of some Korean culture already but just on the surface. When I planned on having Daniel I started learning more specific and traditional things about the Korean culture. While his dad is of Korean decent he was more American so I sorta fell on me to do the research. I think it would have been hardier for me if I didn't have Korean friends and co-workers. They are a tremendous help with getting Korean culture info beyond the basics.

It's exciting for me to have bits and pieces of the Korean culture to share with my son. Since his dad isn't in his life to teach our son, as s single mom I'm proud that I can.

8. As a mother of such a young baby, what are some of the things you find that you deprive yourself of? How do you get past it/them?

I don't get lot of time for the things I like to do personally...like reading a book. The books I read are all children books and can be read in under 5 minutes. As a mom I have no extra time sitting and reading magazines, newspapers much less an adult books. I've tried using audio books but it's still no good cause my son wants to listen also. I'm still working on this. LOL


9. Through your blog I see that you play a very active role in Daniel’s daily activities. What are some tips you can share with my readers?

Yes, I don't think when you become a parent means you stop doing fun things. If you plan ahead then you can enjoy any activity with your child. Know your child's schedule so you can have a child who is rested, fed and eager to explore with you. Also try and see that doing an activity with your child is bonding time, not time wasted. Children don't need a lot of expensive activities or toys. Simple things that connect parent and child are worth it weight in gold now and in the future.


10. Last but not least…with such an active role as a mother, what do you do to pamper yourself? Can you share some tips with my readers?

Now that my son is older and I can plan more "me" time I try to do something simple for "me" when I can. I can something as simple and painting my toes, styling my hair beyond the mom ponytail to something like taking myself out on a date one night. I either hire a sitter or do a baby sitting exchange with another mom and just enjoy a few kid free hours. Oh and I always treat my self to cookies! =)

Onica! Thank you for your insight on what it means to be Blasian. I also thank you for allowing my readers take a peek into your world as a single mom to such a bubbly baby boy.

Wishing you the best of luck on all of your endeavors and embracing mother hood to higher heights.