Guest Appearance: Today's Moms - two for one guests....a back to school deal :)

Aside from my see through soul in emotions, writing and my thoughts on various topics, I am a mother. 100%. Everyday. All day. Despite it all. So from time to time I scope by blogs that share thoughts about motherhood. All journeys and experiences are different but we're all on the same mission...to raise a child/children to be men and women of substance. I'm gearing into teen-hood with mine. The peer pressures keep me on my toes and alert for signs of straying. So far my son hasn't...and I thank God for blessing me with the relationship that I have with my son. Without Him and my faith, I may have had a struggle.

So back to the guest blogger for the day/week.... today its two for one, I have my doonks (our personal name) Mrs. Sowell, her blog Keeping Up With the Sowell's is quite entertaining. It helps take me away with some humor and with some cozy ideas of how to take on some issues, while reminding me to have some me time. She's "doing sowell". Check her out and join in on the fun.

Then its 24 Hour mom...it just as it says...she's a 24 hour mom. So am I but she's a stay at home mom. Her tidbits and pointers help me out a great deal. I make notes of new things to try and sometimes find a comfort that I'm doing good. WE'RE DOING GREAT.

It takes a village. WE can all help each other.

Hope you enjoy today's guest bloggers, my blog and insight on being and or becoming a bit more confident that we are doing our best to raising the future future.

Happy Sunday folks.

Flavor of the month: Faith

I'd wake up at about 5:30 in the morning...sometimes, look out my window, smile and then I'd begin to pray. Then I'd get back into bed, read a few scriptures and talk to the Man upstairs. I call it my quiet time. And its the same thing I do just about every Sunday (just about because I'm not going to lie and say that I don't miss some days). But my other Sunday's don't normally go like it did today. I am putting it out there, I haven't been going to church as diligently as I should be...but that choice not to go stems back to a lot (A story to be told in my memoir one day). However, despite my lack of congregating I am a very diligent prayer minded individual. My path is guided heavily by it. And this morning, I started a new thing...a 2 hour devotional. Cell phone off, computer off (except for my iTunes library), tv off and my bedroom door locked. I devoted 2 hours to prayer.

This morning my devotional's message was: Perseverance. I gathered scriptures and even my gospel songs on my itunes library to set the mood. I locked my bedroom door, and pressed play. I thumbed through some old quiet time notes (from back in 2001 when I studied the bible) ... browsed through my thoughts from then and compared them to now. A lot had changed. I had grown yet saw that I am still rooted in the word. Something some of you may not understand but hope that you appreciate being that I am a "see through soul" ... religion is THE number 1 touchy topic...but I promise you, it is who I am...no need to fear.

Don't go placing me in a box now, I'm not perfect...no one is, but I do take my steps carefully. As I plaited my scriptures into a well molded message. Well enough for someone who's not a pastor, but sound enough for someone who loves the word. I dug into Hebrews, and 1 Titus, The book of James, Corinthians and Matthew... Perseverance was my main message. But it intertwined with love, patience all due to having faith.

Faith: It's my flavor of the month (most likely an ongoing thing). See, there's so much we want out of life. So much we seek, desire and aim for. But there's always some sort of stumbling block and we fall back. But in prayer and spirituality, we have faith. Its that thing we're sure of and hope for and certain of what we don't see.

All we know we're on a path for some sort of greatness and we aim for our dreams and goals. Though we don't know the outcome, faith keeps us grounded and we see it. And we are told more often than not, to "have faith", "be courageous", "don't fear", "you're on the right path"...and we're inspired. But the one that includes all courage and confidence is faith.

So I guess I can sum up my message to self today; and share with you as: Love what you do, as long as it resonates who you are constructively; be patient and persevere despite any set backs. All these come with solid Faith.

Thanks for reading...hope I have inspired someone to follow their dreams.

Guest Appearance: Today's writing blog

I have decided to let you all in on the blogs I enjoy reading. So every Sunday I will have a "guest appearance" link to that person's blog. First up: Bizzare JC. I virtually met her on myspace a few years ago and through our love for reading, writing and some mutual virtual friends in the literary world, we continue to bond through words. Why I love reading her blogs? It takes me on a research ride to tips and tidbits on how to improve my writing. It inspires me while giving me the knowledge I need to put forth content worth reading.

I hope you enjoy her blog as much as I do: THE BIZARRE RAMBLINGS OF JC

Stay tuned for the next guest blog....

In Full Bloom or Budding?

This past Sunday, I had an awesome interview on Terryl Ebony's blogtalk radio show (you can click the link to the radio show to listen to the past shows). Her show was about Success After Motherhood and she featured me as a single parent going against the odds and making success a goal and not a dream deferred. Also on the show was Luva Alvarez...The 24 hour mom who also has her own blogtalk radio show that delves into the lives of stay home moms. So Terryl pretty much brought a show that gives the story from both sides of the fence. And what an awesome show it was. After the show I received messages with tons of questions about how I do it all ... perseverance pretty much sums it up. Out of the interview, I gained some sort of re-conviction that there is more to life than living and its living it for your children. Be it as a stay at home mom who gives the 100% attention to their children, or the single moms who have no choice but to go out there and make the best for their children. Either way, nothing is and should never be a challenge. Never let being a mother debilitate your courage to achieve the dreams you once had before having children. Your children (my child) should always be that motivation. Go out there and make your life for them. Never give up...rest yes, but never give up.



Half Assed:
Since my accident last Friday, I have been in some kind of freakish pain. My back, neck, wrists and shoulders aren't mine. It tingles and aches so much I want to snatch it off and dust it off. Feels like crawly things are just trickling up and down. I had to cancel 3 open mic events this week and it has me feeling a bit unnerved. But that's the perfectionist side to me ... I gave my word to be there and I had to cancel. Yes of course it was due to circumstances beyond my control ... but its still not a good look...business wise.

Then I spent the evening on Monday browsing my blog page and realize that I give you a half assed blog. I'm a writer and hardly give you updates on what I'm writing about, how what I do as a writer to make my words come to life. I must admit, I am NOT an avid reader. I love books yes and support other writers, however, if I read one of their stories I would hate for my own story to come across as a repeated offense. It just makes it a bit harder for the originality to flow.

On top of the last weeks events, I honestly have not written diligently. I have no excuse for not writing. All I can say is that for the first time I'm enjoying my down time...no school...its all I can say. But I need to get it together before the next journey (law school / grad school) starts. So I promise to have my blog a bit more on the writing path as well as continue to be that see through soul.

One of my novels, "On The Eve of Goodbye, is pretty much completed. I'm considering shopping around for a publisher that will accept it. So synopsis and query letters are next on my to-do list. I've never written one before so this may take some time. Yes, I'm stepping away from poetry for a bit and dabbing into my full fledged story lines. My characters are realistic and ready to be seen...I think. I'll post an excerpt soon so you can give some feedback.

Aside from some self doubt that I seem to contain and the many times I say I'm giving up on pursuing my writing, I go for the jugular...fail or not. At least I did it...right Terryl??? :)



Charity begins at home:

My publicist Jameka is involved with many projects two of which have caught my attention...The Red Pump Project which raises awareness and funds for aids and aids research, and Amped 4 A Cure that brings awareness and raises funds for cancer and cancer research. You JUST can't get any more productive than that. Sales for my poetry books have been slow, but an expected slow as I came in to this knowing that poetry is a hard act to sell. But I have decided that I want to be active in the awareness and give back. But this is where you come in. Any sales of my books I will donate half of the proceeds to each of the organizations. So I ask that you visit amazon.com and purchase a copy of each of my books...they're economically friendly :) $10, support a great purpose and at the same time get a great read. Leave me a comment if you think this can be done.

I normally end my blogs with an uplifting comment/statement and today that statement is: When in doubt, try and try again and lean on a friend... a real friend that is. One who has your best interest at heart and not one that you're "just" acquainted with. They only know the surface of you. So find that friend that knows your gutt and let them tell you about yourself to reboot your circuits. Its a tough road to follow your dreams and most times we're our own worst critics and that can be damaging. WE tend to lose sight of why we started the journey and ache to give up wholeheartedly. Use that friend to fuel your energy. Friends, they're like milk, they do the body good.

Thank you all for the constant support and growing acceptance of me and my see through soul.

Deja Vu to you too

We've ALL had that moment where we've felt like we've been through something before. Deja Vu is what's used to best describe it as being in that place at another time...possibly in another life. When in fact psychology reminds us that its more so a moment that quite resembles one that we have experienced in the past...and indeed I have been in this position before.

Last Friday I was involved in a car accident. I was rear ended. My son and my niece were in the car. I'm not going to lie...all day I had the intuition of something bad happening. Didn't know what it was. And it did...at the end of my day on my way home. Its Sunday and I am still in pain. The injuries don't compare to the accident I had 6 years ago in which I ended up having knee surgery, but it definitely brought back the fear that I experienced that night. An even greater fear being that my son and my niece were this time in the car. My hear beat 3000 miles a minute in panic for them and their safety. It was dreadful.

Two days later I sit on my bed with laptop on lap (duhhh lol) and I'm in pain. My neck and back hurts tremendously. So there have been slight updates to my calendar

My appearance at Stilettos and Sounds have been postponed due to my aches;

My book reading and signing at Soule Restaurant is being rescheduled to a later date....

The things that go on a side bar due to unplanned circumstances sort of puts a damper on the mission that you're on, but at the same time helps you to realize that nothing in life is guaranteed...always, ALWAYS leave room for disappointments.

My son and niece are fine, I'm hanging in there and thankful that we were all able to walk away from the accident. I am thankful for all the concern and care I received in text messages and phone calls and emails and Face Book messages and twitter messages...it was overwhelming and all appreciated. It keeps me grounded in that I do matter to others.

Though it didn't have to take the collision for me to be thankful, I am using it as a reason to be even more thankful for the life I'm in, the people that are in it and the challenges I have overcome...and embrace the ones to come. For life isn't immuned from them.

Pot o' Potpourri

Wow! So much has been going on. Things are blossoming & I've been smiling. Check out what's been going on on my agenda. Btw! I missed the fashion show in Barbados...I didn't make it down, but aside from that one mishap, check out my progress below.

My revamp meeting with JSW Media is tonight...stay tuned.

I have signed on to help a friend out with her e-zine style magazine & had the chance to interview an awesome designer, who's fashion show is this Saturday...check out Sapphire Stylez Magazine when it launches.

Sunday @5pm, I'm being featured on Terryl Ebony's radio show: www.blogtalkradio.com/terrylebony. Please stop on in and participate...success after motherhood is the topic.

Monday...Stilettos & Sounds has invited me back to their stage. I sooo look forward to it again. The rush is a great feel and I "heart" poetry.

On August 23rd, 2009, Soule Restaurant has asked to feature me at a reading/signing event at their restaurant. Please come out and support. Check out their blog for info: www.soulerestaurant.blogspot.com

MYDC: we're moving in the right direction & I'm excited about our accomplishments. Definitely more to come on that. Hard work does indeed pay off.

With all of the above, I'm hoping to make it out to the Charlotte Literary fair in September.

Being out of school has it perks. So its just been a pot of potpourri goodness. I'm a creative soul...A bumbling P right? :)

Subliminal message within this blog: Determination! God never puts a dream in your heart that you can't accomplish. Be free and engage in the possibilities...go for it.

Love ya!

Thanks for reading and supporting.

Onika.

APOOO Book Review of Bardvillian Symphonies

Just when I get stomach knotted about my writing, I send it out for review by a book club and this is what I get back...

Title: Collections of a See Through Soul - Bardvillian Symphonies by Onika Pascal
APOOO: 4.5
Amazon: 5
Heading: My Life in A-Minor

Life is like a diverse orchestra. Without the percussions, we could not be able to scream; and without the woodwind instruments, we would seem so hard all the time.
Imagine if all you received in a concert, which was advertised as an orchestra, was a triangle and nothing else, do you believe you would be satisfied? I know I would not. That is not the case with Collections of a See Through Soul – Bardvillian Symphonies by Onika Pascal. I saw things through allegorical eyes; political brashness wrapped in “delectable moans that were counterfeit.” Love lost and found and lost again; sweet innocence way back when; tributes to literary and poetic dignitaries. The list goes on.

Pascal wrote pieces that allowed me to nod my head in agreement. Some made me chuckle, while others made me stop and think. Throughout my reading I was saying “I like this one the best” more times than I expected. But my favorite was “Half Past Noon.” I got it! I had visions in my head and could feel the “buckets of rain poured from God’s well,” as I wore my “bathsuit(s) and bathe in the rain.” “Cornucopia” told me what I already knew. I keep writing things in pencil; leaving me with the capability to erase my visions and my dreams; when all the time I should have been “writing with a pen.”

Pascal’s collection of poetry took me on a musical journey through her eyes about life. Life’s ups and downs were both represented. If you are a lover of life and/or poetry, the Collections of a See Through Soul – Bardvillian Symphonies is recommended for your reading enjoyment.

Jennifer Coissiere
APOOO BookClub

Flight of the Bumble P

Now this is the first blog that comes with a soundtrack...(please click on link to listen) so while reading, kindly have the theme music playing in the background of your mind to get the full effect lol and the selected theme music is the orchestral musical interlude in the Russian opera "Flight Of the Bumblebee" by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. It is THE perfect melody to go along with this.

Last year I had to deal with a lifestyle that was forced into my lap. Didn't ask for it, wasn't prepared for it but had to deal with it. So my days became quite a bit reckless. No true structure, no time frame, just had to keep going to let time pass and to avoid thoughts of what was taking place. "The situation", "The him", school - term papers, midterms, finals, work, my son, LSAT, my book...ugghhhh I was heavily sedated in frustration. ...is the soundtrack to this blog still playing in your head?

So, at the end of "The situation", I was already in a mode where I couldn't sit still. I had to have things to do. I felt like I was on a red bull overdose. I couldn't sleep, my mind was constantly indecisive. "The situation" sort of took over my life...sort of...because I still managed to get things done.

I realized though that I have a bad habit of planning things and not following through with it. Things for me that is. Every year I plan my vacation...months in advance. But for some reason never seem to make it. And I always say everything happens for a reason and chuck it under the rug. This time, I beat myself in the head for letting my vacation go by with not a place to go. I'm like a chicken without a head. But I think this down time was warranted. No 4 hour driving road trip, like I always do on the weekends, no airport runs, like I always do when I take my vacation, and worst yet, no stressing as to whether or not I'm going to make the flight...I sometimes travel on buddy passes and hate getting bumped off flights if its over sold. So anywho...this time, this vacation, though I blabbed about it from the top of my lungs for months...From Barbados, to Punta Cana, to Trinidad...and nada...not one place did I go....it happens when you travel on an open ticket...your mind isn't worried about losing moneyI actually decided to not go anywhere. To stay home and relax. Sleep till noon, and eat get out of bed when I feel like it. AND BOY AM I GLAD THAT I DID.

You can cut off the theme music now...this part I'm settled lol



Why am I glad you ask? (that's if you did lol) ... I had the chance to meet and catch up with someone I hadn't seen in 14 years. And I must say its been a wonderful week off from work. I would have missed this opportunity...to smile and see clouds in different shapes and to feel my heart beat the way it did back when...hmmmm....I won't go there. But I'm glad to know my heart still beats. My hours aren't wasted into 4 walls and pints of ice cream and oreo cookies. Instead its filled with memories that can now be smiled upon.

From my last few posts...I realized my heart was opening up to dating again...but didn't think this would have happened. I mean nothing may come of it but just the "moment" is enough to make me smile. And besides 14 years is a long time to not see someone...so I'm still enjoying it so far.

Aside from that silver lining...I have been writing. I am back into my novel ... "On The Eve of Goodbye", already started another title and hope to get that as far as I can. The title alone to this new novel gets me psyched. Hopefully one day, if published, it would move you just the same.

I have been working on MYDC events. Have been invited to work on another project and so crazily excited about that...Ah can't wait to tell ya'll about it. I'm waiting for the green light to do so.

I have a my open mic line up for next week: Soule Restaurant next Tuesday and La Preguntas in Harlem next Wednesday.

This bumble P, though somewhat settled, is still buzzing...but buzzing around some flowers that are blossoming into new and worthy things. Like Pollen to a bee, they keep me drawn.

So as this opera blog comes to a close, curtains to be drawn, always remember that life will always throw you curve balls and take you on a spin outside of your comfort zone...but no matter what, always be sure to put your best foot forward and continue to pursue the things that makes you happy but be sure to take time to rest...its necessary. Life will always do what it do...live.

Hello mid 30's....is that you?

For the past few days, I have been reflecting on all of the things I have accomplished. Sometimes you have to rverse in order to get back on the right path. It beats going in circles.

Being a psych major, I fell in love with the concept of Existentialism. Rollo May, being my favorite theorist. The whole freedom to make choices to shape one's future rings all to true. No it doesn't eliminate the Higher Being who sets our paths, but that higher being also tells us that, He helps those who helps themselves and in that, we have the freedom to make choices we must stand by. He'll help us along the way when we get into a rut.

Lately I have been revising my freedom. I have made some poor choices in the past. Some that caused me to adhere to the "trash & burn" concept. I'd clear fields of hurt by burning the situation...only to end up in a tougher situation, no solid ground. No fruitful ground. Could it be I was so clueless? Unfortunately, yes! I was.

It took years of faulty happenings to bring me to this point. I connect with my 32 years of being and say hello to my future. No I'm not free nor exempt from making poor choices, but this time around I have a better understanding of who I am, and my purpose of being...existentially that is.

My choice to indulge in writing has always been my comfort zone. I will continue to let that be my solace. Its the one vice I partake in that I don't think compromises my integrity. Hopefully you too have something you're passionate about that doesn't make you compromise who you are and can become.

My dream is to have my writing inspire others to be motivated to follow their own path. Jung would say that my current personality has been determined by my past and present being and my hopes of who I aim to become. So far, I'm becoming who I am meant to be.

No this isn't some sort of midlife crisis or state of confusion, I'm actually embracing the path I'm going down. There are things that have happened that have humiliated me but not enough to the point I stop becoming. Am I making sense here?

I've tried figuring out just what I want out of the things I embark on, and come to the realization that I just want to do them. No strings attached. But leave room open for anything that may.

In my remaining days of 32, I seek comfort in knowing that I dream and that my dreams have purpose, and that I have the freedom to choose how I make those dreams manifest, and manifest into the person I have become. No compromising.

So as I remain grounded in my God, I psychologically attach my existential nature and combine them to create an unmoveable me and pray that you'd do the same. No one can get you to where you want to be but you...most you can get out of the journey is a pat on the shoulder from those who believe in you. But be sure to believe in yourself...you won't be 32 forever