At the defensive line of scrimmage

In high school (James Madison High in Brooklyn to be exact), I was a booster, what one might consider to be the African American girl team equivalent to cheerleaders. Though I looked awesome in my uniform and proudly shook my pompoms, I did not for any given game, understood the plays, the calls or the reason why it was played the way it was. Yet I cheered at the top of my lungs whenever Nkrumah, Banks, Blaize or Red had the ball and were heading to our end of the field....it meant we were on to something and their adrenalin rush became infectious. For, inside my chest, I too ran like Domenik Hixon. And there you have it... my attraction to the game was born.

Throughout the years I've always watched a game here or there, not really becoming a fan or making it known that I watch the game in my quiet moments behind my bedroom doors (I do the same with soccer too)but, since the NY Giant's big Superbowl win in 2007, which put us back on the map as THE team of the century, I have embraced my love for "the game" and excitingly anticipate SNF and MNF games to be played. Be it the Giants, the Jets, The Redskins or teams other than the Giants that I've grown to like...as along as they're not playing against the Big Blue. I am learning to understand plays and master my unedited curses for when a, self evaluated, wrong penalty has been called against my team. The only thing I don't do is drink beer and scratch my balls (or breasts for proper game etiquette) in good male gesture. Yet one would swear I'm a pro at the game.

To give some insight on the message behind my blog, here's just a tidbit on somethings about the game. In football, the line of scrimmage is, an imaginary transverse line crossing the football field across its narrower dimension, beyond which a team cannot cross until the next play has begun. Its location is based on the spot where the ball is placed after the end of the most recent play and following the assessment of any penalty yards. And, it is understood that defensive line of scrimmage is the line relevant to the measurement of progress toward the goal. (This message brought to you courtesy of Wikipedia...And now, now to my regularly scheduled blogging!)

"...The line relevant to the measurement of progess toward the goal"...a definition that bears all pertinence to the game that I'm playing. I'm a one man team and I drive hard to gain all my 1st downs and yardage to my official touchdowns. However, at times the game itself plays even harder and robs me of any infamous moments and stains me with unforgettable incomplete passes, all the while I rack up offensive penalties. What can I say! I'm no Eli Manning and my head coach in heaven guides me through, with my adrenalin call faith. Though my plays are pre-designed for me and I could possibly be destined for some sort of fame, I develop an equivocal, just when I'm about to make a very important play in the game, that can determine my future, for fear of where that mapped out play would lead me. Even though I'm already in the game, I can't help but consider myself, at the moment, to be a Buress. I made the winning a touchdown on some challenges, yet turn around and shoot myself with my own weapon (ambition) and now fear the outcome. I'm always getting stuck in a melee that seems to be undefined.

I most times disregard the playbook and tackle life as is, with each waking day. Most times unplanned and with nothing but a gut instinct and bolt of courage to face whatever challenge I put my self into and even the ones that present themselves without welcome or warning. I've made memorable plays thus far. I've accomplished two major things and each of the accomplishments have both sacked me and we're all now, at the defensive line of scrimmage waiting for the end result of what's to become.

My faith in the game now measures my progress toward each goal. How far can I really go. A single mother always has to weigh the options...even if its beneficial for her being better for her child. Who wins? Me or my fear of success? Guess you'd have to tune into the playoff blog a few weeks from now. I'm calling a time out to revamp my strategy on tackling my dreams differently. Just like with football, I don't quite understand how this game is actually played. This game called life. I always seem to be short of team players, I fumble at passes and I have more false start than all the teams in the entire NFL. I think no matter how much you've adapted to the game and or desire to always be the best at it...one can always have a bit of stage fright when set before the eyes of the world waiting to see if you make it or not.

Click "checkout" to complete purchase - Continued

Published...a new title under my belt.

For a year, I worked on getting my first collection of poetry published and I finally did it.Despite many nights of doubts and "what ifs" and "maybe not's" and the gazillion "who do I think I am to do this". Finally its here.

My book is a "get to know me through my writing" collection of writings. I'm introducing my intimate thoughts and emotions through poetry, for my readers to connect. Each selection is a puzzle to my portrait.

If it intrigues you to know what the compilation is about please know that the books are are available for purchase.

Please PURCHASE YOUR COPY for $10.00:

check my myspace page: ONIKA PASCAL for the "add to cart" purchase link or at PAY PAL

Email me at onikapascal@gmail.com to leave comments and or feedback

Thank you in advance for the support.

Wishing you all a very happy holiday and productive and prosperous New year ahead!

Love Onika

A Pen Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

How often do you read your horoscope and it speaks to you as though its truly in your face?


Your horoscope for December 12, 2008
You are likely aware of your writing abilities, Pascalle, but you may not realize just how talented you are. It would be worthwhile for you to consider devoting more time to honing your craft. You can't expect to improve much when your writing time is scattered in between other obligations. You need large blocks of uninterrupted time in order to really produce something of value. Why not give it a try, even if just for a week or so, to see what you are capable of.

That is what my horoscope said yesterday. How interesting!

I always blog about putting my book and my writing on the back burner to focus on school. I don't quite know how to juggle them all. I figure my education matters a bit more but now I have folks anticipating where they can purchase my book and I have them on hold. So not professional. But do guarantee that it would be available by the week of Christmas.

I truly haven't written anything with substance nor in completion in the past months. I took on a different schedule and became engulfed in making sure I got it all in order and neglected my writing. My horoscope scolded me and told me to honor it just a bit more. That I intend to do in the weeks that school is out.

For the love of pen ... I will be blogging again.

Mantras

"Whatever in life worth having, is worth working for"...

I've heard the saying and I've read it quite a few times but can't say that I've practiced it wholeheartedly and never really put deep concentration into its meaning.

There are many thing in life that we desire, yet, many times we have a faith in something other than the great Being we worship and that faith is called luck. As humans, culturally dispersed or not, we all have been told one way or another to have dreams and goals and to set them rationally so that they can and must be achieved. I think its called, meeting the standards of living.

Mantras are the things in life that we are socialized into practicing and reciting for when we want an outcome to be in our best interest. Our 'favor' is most important, neglecting that our hearts is the main thing to pacify. We, most times, blame lack of luck for that thing, or person we desire, that escapes us. Forgetting that luck isn't why our desires are driven. Bobbie Harro stated that our socialization begins before we're born and with no choice of ours. In other words, our lives have been pre-chartered for us.

For the past 3 months I have been following the path that escaped me 10 years ago. Some time ago, as I mentioned in my opening statement, I didn't know how to fight or how to work for contentment. Since I lost the one earthly thing that intimately drove me to accomplish my goals from my past, I am now working hard for that "thing" worth having. Though he was one of those things, I can't help but believe that my dreams were given to me and I have a destiny to fulfill them. So that I am.

Two years ago, at my countdown to turning 30, I had a checklist of things to start and assure that I finish and I'm well into the 5th item on my list.

Nowhere in here am I saying its as easy as its said. Its a lot of dedication, concentration (amongst the lonely nights) but the bigger picture of it is that I'm here. I'm being guided through it and I'm faithful.

I'm going into an agreement with God and I'm verbalizing my thoughts and having faith that I will receive his favor.

I wish the best to you too...a new year is upon us and dreams can only be deferred if you leave them by the wayside.

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